The Dating Profile and the Fake Engagement

Clara, desperate to project an image of stability and commitment on her dating profile, decided on a highly questionable strategy: she used a photo taken at her cousin’s engagement party where she was prominently featured next to the couple, looking rapturous. She also added a caption that vaguely implied she was "happily committed... to personal growth."

She matched with David, a handsome, serious-minded engineer. Their first date was at a quiet, upscale Italian restaurant.

The date was going incredibly well. David was charming, intelligent, and didn't mention crypto once.

Then, disaster struck. The restaurant was surprisingly crowded. Clara looked up and saw her cousin, Stephanie, and Stephanie’s fiancé, Mike, walking directly toward their table. They were the couple from the infamous engagement photo.

"Oh, no," Clara whispered, sinking lower in her chair.

Stephanie spotted her immediately. "Clara! What a coincidence!"

Stephanie and Mike walked over. David stood up politely.

Stephanie looked at David, then back at Clara, a massive, knowing smile spreading across her face. Stephanie had seen the dating profile photo and its misleading caption. She decided to play along. Aggressively.

"And who is this handsome man, Clara?" Stephanie cooed, winking at her fiancé. "He must be the one! I didn't know you had your own engagement party so soon after ours!"

David stared at Clara, his face pale. "Engagement?"

Clara tried to intervene, "Stephanie! It's just a first date! Please don't—"

Stephanie ignored her, turning back to David. "We are so thrilled! Mike and I thought we were getting a head start on the marriage thing, but Clara here is a fast mover! Congratulations on the engagement!"

Mike, Stephanie's fiancé, who was a simple man, looked at David's hand, then at his own hand. "Yeah, man! Where's the ring? Don't tell me you proposed with a breadstick."

David looked utterly panicked. "I haven't proposed anything! I just met her two hours ago!"

Clara grabbed Stephanie's arm and hissed, "Stop ruining my life! I used your photo for bait!"

Stephanie leaned in conspiratorially to David. "Oh, he's shy! He wants to keep it secret! That's so cute!"

David slowly backed away from the table. "I need to use the restroom. I feel like I am suffering from immediate, severe buyer's remorse."

David fled the table and, five minutes later, ran straight out of the restaurant without ever returning.

Clara was left alone with her cousin, who was laughing uncontrollably.

"You ruined it, Stephanie!" Clara wailed.

"I know!" Stephanie gasped, wiping a tear. "But you can't put a fake engagement photo on a dating profile and expect me not to commit to the bit! It was a beautiful performance of digital deception and physical awkwardness!"

Clara walked home, realizing she had been rejected not by David, but by the fictional, overly committed version of herself she had created for her dating profile.